You're Full of Should

The last point to ponder here is—what do you think a family SHOULD be like? What are the images, archetypes, and parts that make up that concept of the “perfect” family? This is the meat of the matter, so don’t skip this part. Write down your family SHOULDS and then we’ll pull it all together.

When you think about how your family IS and then how you think it SHOULD be, what do you notice? Are you angry? Sad? Resigned? Annoyed that I’m even asking the question? The fact of the matter is, we have societal concepts of what a family SHOULD be like that is largely unattainable. As such, when we have expectations of this perfect family that aren’t being met by reality, there are consequences. We get angry with ourselves and the family we have, we resent our circumstances, and we try in all kinds of ways to “fix” our families to make them “better.” It might not be in our faces every day, but in the background of our minds we have a conversation that our family isn’t good enough and never will be.