These Boots Were Made for Walking My Talk

Although I've presented classes, workshops, introductions, and been an counselor/coach/teacher for my entire career, the new venture I've been on involves something I've never done before--presenting with another person as a duo. Moreover, my co-pilot on this venture happens to be my husband, and the project happens to be creating an intimacy/partnership workshop for couples called, "Love the One You're With: Reinventing Partnership, Play, and Intimacy."

What's not surprising is that in the process of the two of us creating together, all of our usual complaints about each other have come up in the process. It's been necessary for us to confront EVERY FRIGGIN' THING that we've been tolerating about each other in order to have this bugger get created. Sigh. I've had to pay attention to my own coaching, (good thing I'm a good coach, hehe!) and get real about being responsible for the health of our marriage.

For example, our son started preschool last week, and our daughter started a couple days a week of child care, and unfortunately at the same time David's grandmother died. On top of all this, we had set some deadlines for completing some important items around the workshop. We both were tired and overwhelmed, and decided that on Sunday afternoon that we would trade off taking a brief nap so that we could be refreshed and take on the next thing. During Dave's nap, I scurried about getting this and that done, and let him sleep longer than we had agreed. I expected that when he got up, he would jump in and take over where I had left off, but he started watching television. I got angry, and continued to work, and didn't take my nap.

That night, I got angry and confronted him for my not being able to take a nap. He apologized, not for that, but for the fact that he didn't get what my expectation had been for when he got up in the afternoon. I realized later that I had never told him what I had wanted, nor had I left him adequate time to do what I had wanted him to do because I didn't wake him up when I said I would! I totally had sabotaged my rest and well-being, and wanted to blame him. I could've had everything I had wanted if I just communicated it, and stuck to what I said. Sheesh!